katekintailbc | Before I Die by Jenny Downham (Reply)

Before I Die
by Jenny Downham

I read this for

petrini1's book club, and I'm glad I did. It was a roller coaster of a story about a young girl with terminal cancer. During the last year of her life, she decides to draw up a list of things to do before she dies. The list is not really all that different from my "doe before I die" list. Mine is full of random things I want to experience as well.

The problem is that each time Tessa tries to do something on her list, it doesn't go well. It lands her back in the hospital or it's disappointing or it just goes wrong. Yet she ends up experiencing everything on her list in a good way later without even trying, practically. And that's the magic of the story, I think. It's horrible and realistic but it has so many bright, wonderful moments you can't help but be pulled right in. Of course, the first person narration helps with that as well. You could really feel Tessa's anger and frustration and hope and excitement and love and loss.

It's a fast read, but I couldn't read it fast. It was too emotional for me to read all at once and I had to keep walking away from the book because it was too intense and sad at times. There were all sort of great moments throughout but so many times the reality of the situation was so strong that you wondered how in the world any of these characters could make it through. It takes a lot of courage to fight against a disease but it take SO much more to die from it and let your friends and family watch you do it. It was very powerful and very terrible, but also very good.

I found myself laughing through tears during the last few chapters, which are written very realistically as well even as the main character begins her descent. It's tragic but sweet, sad but heartwarming. It's a very strange mix of emotions that are so very compelling and complex.

It was a fantastic book, but it took a lot more out of me than I thought it would when I started it. It was a great journey I'm glad I took, though. I feel lucky to have made it through and out on the other side.