katekintailbc | He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys by Greg Behrendt & Liz Tucci

He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys
by Greg Behrendt & Liz Tuccillo
(Audio)

So... not what I expected. I guess I figured since it had been made into a movie, it was closer to fiction instead of self help. Once I realized what it was, I still stuck it out since it was only 3 discs and... well... I needed to hear some of this advice. This book was all the rage when it came out and despite the fact that I never read it, I've used the "he's just not that into you" line quite a few times in my life.

I liked hearing the advice from the authors directly because it put voices to the advice. And, like some of the writers, there were times I was mad at John for what he was telling me to do. I'm not in a relationship now (which is probably for the best because I'm SURE I would have been as defensive as some of the women in this book) but I've been through a few... some of which could have been straight out of the pages of this book word-for-word, I'm sorry to say.

I think you need to be self-confident before picking this book up. Frequently Greg and Liz explained that I was worth better, that I was pretty, that I was smart, etc. I'm not sure I bought that, and you really need to. But that's my own problem. I'm sure I would have gotten more out of it, especially at first, if I'd been able to trust from the beginning that I really did deserve better.

I found lots of it to be horribly boring and repetitive. I GET it, Greg. You don't want me dating ANYONE except for the best guys out there! How about this bad guy? No? Okay, what about this one? Still no? This bad guy? Again no? *sigh* It was a bit painful at times, but by the end I realize I needed that repetition. Also, they were not just blunt but kind of mean at the same time. Yeah, we probably needed to hear it that way, and the sarcasm was written beautifully, but it was an interesting way to structure a book that was already going to receive a lot of criticism from defensive women. If I'd been reading the physical, paper edition I would have been able to skip over some of the letters and possible men in sections I'd already learned from. So the audio has good and bad sides to it.

By the end of the book, I was more confident with myself but I was also exceptionally glad I'd listened to the whole thing. The biggest thing I learned from this book is that if the relationship isn't good for you, there's NO REASON to stay in it. Yeah, I'm scared I might not ever find anyone and maybe settling for someone is the answer... but if the relationship is destructive or hurting me, I shouldn't feel bad about getting out immediately. Nothing-- not hope or fear-- is worth suffering for if he's not the right guy for me. And, you know, I think I do deserve to be happy :-) Thanks, Greg & Liz.